Posted on: February 15, 2024 Posted by: Comments: 0

Do you talk about politics with your friends and dates/partners? How much should political views affect friendships and dating, in your opinion?

We’ve noticed The New York Times has been publishing a lot of stories recently on how opposing political views can affect friendships and dating (or not): “What Happens After You Ask if Your Date Is Pro-Choice?“, “If You’re Under 30, How Does Politics Affect Your Dating Life?“, “We Were Friends for Years. Trump Tore Us Apart,” and “When It Comes to Dating, Ambition Might Matter More Than Politics” (gift links).

{related: how to make friends as you get older}

Of course, we don’t expect readers to have time right now to read all four NYT articles, so let’s have more of a general discussion today. We’d love to hear what you have to say on this issue!

Here are a couple of excerpts from the stories:

The handful of people who mentioned political deal-breakers [in interviews from the Survey Center on American Life] tended to be very liberal or very conservative — perhaps falling in that roughly 20 percent of Americans who follow politics closely. In that group, views on abortion did come up as a deal-breaker. — NYT, “If You’re Under 30, How Does Politics Affect Your Dating Life?

* * *

Some [of those interviewed] who were open to dating people with opinions on abortion different from their own had religious values in common. They tended to be Christians, and found that as long as their romantic counterparts shared Christian values and approached the question of abortion from that place, they could potentially deal with the disagreement. — NYT, “What Happens After You Ask if Your Date Is Pro-Choice?

{related: how to deal with political talk at the office}

Readers, do the issues below resonate with you — or not?

Red flags: When you meet new people, are there any red (or green) flags you watch for regarding topics and values you feel strongly about? Is there any issue that’s so important to you that you’d avoid a friendship or dating relationship if the person had opposite views?

Off-limits topics: Are there any subjects that you just don’t discuss with friends, dates, and/or partners? Did you set that rule from the start in a particular relationship, or was it something that you felt you had to institute after running into significant problems?

Impact on relationships: Have you ever ended a platonic or romantic relationship because of different views/values? Are you estranged from any of your family members who have developed extreme views, such as believing in wild conspiracy theories?

{related: the effect close friends have on your life (and how to choose your friends)}

FYI, some organizations are working on bridging divides between Americans with different political affiliations and views, such as Civic Genius, Braver Angels, and Urban Rural Action.

Readers, do tell: How much has politics affected your friendships and romantic relationships? Have you lost friends over politics?

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